The Anger Iceberg


Typically an Iceberg can be described as a large floating mass of ice that floats in the sea. Icebergs can literally be seen from the surface of the sea but it is actually has a larger portion of the ice in depth the sea. Anger can be likened to this because the iceberg of anger can be portrayed as a pictorial representation of how anger most of the time is precipitated by a number of negative emotional experiences that are in the unconscious states of an individuals mind. Most times, when we get overwhelmed by these emotions we find an outlet for them through the expression of anger.

Anger is an emotion that tends to be easy to see. However anger is often just the tip of the iceberg. Other emotions such as sadness, disappointment, loneliness, being overwhelmed, embarrassment, hurt, helplessness, pain, frustration, insecurity, grief, e.t.c may be hidden beneath the surface.
Anger may be fueled by different emotions at different times, or by a combination of emotions. Sometimes however, anger is just anger.

When a person allows anger to dominate his/her emotion, it opens the person up to more problems such as anxiety, stress, fatigue, contempt, guilt, jealousy and shame. sadness, high blood pressure, and over time this build up process escalates to a point which
triggers transfer of aggression which will affect the mental health of the person.

The Cycle of Anger

Anger doesn’t just happen but it builds up. There is a cycle in which anger follows before it reaches its peak. It is analyzed thus;

For anger to thrive there must be a triggering event. Something must trigger it, a situation must arise for anger to manifest. The triggering event will be followed by negative thoughts which comes a result of what triggered the anger in the first instance. Negative thoughts involve what the person imagines doing the person who got him angry. The negative thought further triggers the emotional response which evolves the he person may be seen clinching his fists in anger. When the person responses to the angry situation negatively that may result to the physical symptoms which is the physical outburst of anger which could lead to a physical confrontation. When a physical confrontation happens it would lead to a behavioral response which could be a fight or exchange of verbal abuse.

This entire cycle can be well managed and may not aggravate if the angry person understands how to manage his anger.

Anger Management Tips

Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

Although it might sometimes feel like your anger “explodes” and comes out of nowhere, this is almost never the case. Anger builds slowly, and if you aren’t paying attention, it can happen entirely outside of your awareness.

So, do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Do you erupt during an argument? are there times you feel like beating up someone? do you get irritated easily? when faced with an opposition is your reaction disastrous? Do you lose your temper at the slightest provocation? If your answer is yes to these questions, you need to be schooled on some anger management tips.

Remember anger is a common and even healthy emotion. But it’s important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships. Here are some anger management tips to help you deal with anger at the slightest provocation;

Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Also allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

Once you’re calm, express your concerns
As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

Take a time-out
Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.

Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.  Also, understand that some things are simply out of your control. Try to be realistic about what you can and cannot change. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.

Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go.


Frederick Abiola-Cudjoe

Frederick Abiola Cudjoe is a blogger, content creator who is in service to Arogi Trauma Care Foundation. He is solution driven and result oriented. He has a strong passion to always make clients have the best customer service experience.

Adeleke Taiwo


Similar Posts

Leave a Reply