SELF-INFLICTED TRAUMA

I have always believed KARMA IS NOT REAL ‘Good and bad things happen to good and bad people.

My professor told me a story which goes thus:

He was a professor who studied overseas before settling at Akwa-Ibom. He was supposed to be there for a year for his sabbatical from the United Kingdom. He fell in love with his wife and decided to stay at the school he was lecturing. He resigned from the university in the United Kingdom and got a Senior lecturer job at the University of Uyo. He and his wife lived happily for about ten years in Uyo. He however got a huge grant which was in partnership with the University of Lagos. He moved his wife and children to Lagos. His children were already in school, he immediately enrolled them in the University’s staff school. His wife had always been a housewife who took care of the kids and followed him everywhere. Everyone at the University of Uyo knew them as the Old love birds who never got tired of each other.

He had a friend who had a wife and three kids. Professor Adetunji’s family was doing well until his friends started making snide remarks about his wife being uneducated. He tried getting into her into school but her local dialect would not change. She also could not make simple tenses. They lived at Akwa-Ibom for a long time. Almost everyone spoke like her, so there was no problem. Their relocation to Lagos was the beginning of their issue. The South westerners spoke better and have a different accent which was closer to the foreigners. He was becoming ashamed of her and was trying his best to change how she spoke by all means. He changed her dress but could not change her grammar which was a big issue for him.

Mr Adetunji does not longer want to stay with his wife. After he realized she could not change her accent, he started by telling her not to go out with him because he was ashamed of her. His colleagues started introducing him to more presentable girls and better-spoken girls. He was initially saying NO before he started succumbing to his friends’ requests. His first girlfriend in was a postgraduate student. He met her at the staff club and they picked up from there. Their friendship graduated to hotels and they became sexual. They met only at the staff club and the school hotel, they were never seen outside together. He had only one girlfriend and he was already getting comfortable being with his wife and his girlfriend. There were no lapses at home and the girlfriend was also doing well.

One year after, his girlfriend was done with her MSc and she travelled overseas for PhD, and he was back to his only wife again. He did not know how to date multiple women. He had only one girlfriend at a time who knew he was married and kept his shenanigans away from his wife. He continued that for a while and his family was fine.

Years later, he was done with his grant and decided to stay back in Lagos. University of Lagos also appointed him as a Professor in his department and he also got a job in a private university and Ogun State. He was shuffling Lagos and Ogun weekly.

He met a young unmarried lecturer at the private university and decided to start a relationship with her. He had his wife in Lagos and his girlfriend in Ogun state, he was able to balance his job and family in both states. However, his girlfriend started to demand more. She wanted to be a wife and was not interested in a second wife. She was insisting on him divorcing his first wife and marrying her. He reached out to his friends for advice. They advised him to leave his girlfriend, and stay with his wife with the saying ‘Your wife is important, you can get any other girl’. But this man was in love!

He did not heed his friends’ advice. He stopped coming home and terminated his appointment at the University of Lagos. He ignored his wife and children and blocked them. The university ejected his family from the staff quarters since he no longer worked there. The wife had nowhere to go, no money. One of his colleagues accommodated them in his boys’ quarters and gave her some money for a business. The wife started a kitchen on campus. She cooked both rice and different swallows, students began to flood her canteen and she started to make money. The money made was used for her children’s school fees since the husband had stopped paying. The kitchen grew exponentially and was soon became the best canteen on campus. She used some of her profits to also start a printing business. She printed at a very low price and students who love awoof flooded as usual. She made enough money to move out of the lecturer’s boys’ quarters into a three-bedroom apartment she rented at Abule Oja. She was doing well and had not heard from her husband for years. She was also able to pay for her children’s university education abroad.

Mr Adetunji was also doing well at the private university. He had married his young lecturer girlfriend. They had no child but he loved her. He got a contract in the United Kingdom for ten years. His young wife insisted on not following him, she stayed back to develop her career. He came home once a year to his young wife. He was making so much money and was sending money to his young wife to build a house. He was building a mansion and would visit the house each time he came home on his holidays.

Ten years contract got completed and Mr Adetunji moved back to Nigeria. He wanted to retire and enjoy himself with his wife in his mansion. He returned home and his young wife was no longer in the university. Apparently, the land and the house were built in only her name. He came back to Nigeria with nothing, no home and no job. He went to the University of Lagos to look for his first wife but she had relocated. She had sold her two enterprises and moved to the United States of America to start a new life.

Mr Adetunji was alone and eventually suffered a stroke. His aged tried mum tried to take care of him but she died in between. His siblings had their lives and could not leave their lives for him. He also had no money and could not work in his condition. His siblings sent maids to him who eventually left because they could not clean up after him. His children were nowhere around him, same with his first wife. His second wife had duped him of all his savings, the house was also sold to a foreigner investor.

I have also seen men who left their families and they are living well. The abandoned children even look for their fathers when they are about to get married to represent them as ‘Father of the day’.

JUST BE KIND AND EXPECT NOTHING.

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