What To Do In An Abusive Relationship-Part 2
Effects of Domestic Violence
On the victim
Domestic and family violence tears lives apart. One in 3 women experience physical or sexual violence, or both, caused by someone known to them. It affects women, children, the family and the community. And it has big personal, social and economic effects.
Physical Effects of Domestic Violence
Repeated physical harm can cause many health issues. The stress of being abused may also have physical effects. Domestic violence can cause the following physical issues:
Death, illness, injury and disability — domestic and family violence is the leading cause of death, illness and disability for women aged under 45.
- Chronic pain or migraines
- Homelessness
- Use of alcohol and other drugs to deal with the pain
- Digestive problems
- Sexually transmitted infections
- Vaginismus
- Reproductive issues, including preterm births and perinatal deaths
- Unintended pregnancy
- Bladder and kidney infections
- Central nervous system problems
Psychological Impact of Domestic Violence
Physical violence can leave visible wounds. These may or may not be temporary. Intimate partner violence often leaves lasting psychological effects. These may include:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Posttraumatic stress (PTSD)
- Trust issues
- Guilt and shame
- Problems with sleep
- Fear of intimacy
- Suicidal thoughts
- Emotional distance
Effects on the family
Violence and the threat of violence at home creates fear and can destroy family environments and lead to the break-up of families.
- Frequent moving to avoid the abuser
- Regular household conflict
- Child protection or police involvement
Effects on the community
- Children growing up without learning about positive and respectful relationships
- Abusers going to prison
- Higher rates of alcohol and other drug use, and mental health problems
- Domestic and family violence is estimated to cost the NSW economy more than $4.5 billion each year
Effects on children
Of those women who experience violence, more than 50% have children in their care. Children and young people don’t have to see the violence to be affected by it. Studies show that living with domestic violence can cause physical and emotional harm to children and young people in the following ways:
- ongoing anxiety and depression
- emotional distress
- eating and sleeping disturbances
- physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomach aches
- find it hard to manage stress
- low self-esteem
- self-harm
- be aggressive towards friends and school mates
- feel guilt or blame themselves for the violence
- have trouble forming positive relationships
- develop phobias and insomnia
- struggle with going to school and doing school work
- use bullying behavior or become a target of bullying
- difficulty concentrating
- find it hard to solve problems
- have less empathy and caring for others
Young people exposed to domestic and family violence are more likely to:
• suffer from depression
• be homeless
• Abuse drugs and alcohol
• engage in risk-taking behaviors
• experience or use violence and be controlling and manipulative in relationships
Physical safety
Sometimes being exposed to domestic and family violence isn’t just a matter of witnessing it. Children and young people are often physically hurt during violent episodes, either accidentally or deliberately.
Children and young people need to grow up in a secure and nurturing environment. Where domestic or family violence exists, the home is not safe or secure and children are scared about what might happen to them and the people they love.
Effects of violence on children by age
In utero – An unborn child may be injured in the womb due to violence aimed at the mother’s abdomen or suffer from exposure to drugs or alcohol that a mother may use to cope with stress.
Babies – An infant exposed to violence may have difficulty developing attachments with their caregivers and in extreme cases suffer from failure to thrive.
Toddler – A preschooler’s development may be affected and they can suffer from eating and sleep disturbances.
Child – A school-aged child may struggle with peer relationships, academic performance, and emotional stability.
Teenager – An adolescent may be at higher risk of substance misuse or of either perpetrating or becoming a victim of dating violence.
Children and young people need to grow up in a secure and nurturing environment. Where domestic or family violence exists, the home is not safe or secure and children are scared about what might happen to them and the people they love.
WHAT TO DO IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Choosing to walk away from an abusive relationship, remember the following when you decide whether to leave the abusive relationship or make an effort to keep it going:
If you think your violent spouse will stop, well. The abuse is likely to continue. Abusers suffer from severe psychological and emotional issues. Although it’s not impossible, transformation is neither rapid nor simple. Furthermore, your abuser won’t change until they accept full responsibility for their actions, get professional help, and give up blaming you, their difficult upbringing, stress, their job, their drinking, or their anger.
If you think you can assist your abuser… It makes sense that you would want to support your spouse. You might believe that you are the only one who can relate to them or that it is your duty.
Recognize the warning signs of abuse: Watch out for cues and indicators that indicate your abuser is becoming agitated and may act violently or angrily. If you feel trouble is coming, think of a few plausible excuses to leave the house during the day or at night.
Determine the house’s safe zones: If your abuser strikes you or if a dispute arises, know where to run. Steer clear of small, enclosed areas with no exits, such restrooms or closets, as well as rooms that contain weapons, like the kitchen. Seek out a room with a phone and an external door or window, if at all possible.
Create a code phrase: Decide on a word, phrase, or signal that you can use to inform your friends, neighbors, coworkers, or kids about.
Speak with a local program that addresses sexual assault or domestic abuse; Whether you choose to stay in the relationship or end it, they can offer information, safe emergency housing, peer counseling, emotional support, and other resources. Reach out to AROGI trauma care foundation for support and counseling.
Create a solid support network as much as your partner will let: Engage with people and activities outside of your home whenever you can, and urge your kids to do the same.
Treat yourself with kindness: Create a constructive self-talk and self-perception. Affirmations can help you respond positively to the abuser’s critical remarks. Make time for the things you enjoy doing.
Arogi Foundation
Arogi Trauma Care Foundation (ATCF) is like the silver lining in a dark cloud, making free counselling and therapy accessible to traumatised individuals, bringing healing to those who are hurting and helping people lift up burdens of pain, Read More>>
