What To Do In An Abusive Relationship- Part 1
Definition of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence refers to the victimization of a person with whom the abuser has or has had intimate, romantic, or spousal relationship. It is also a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain control over another intimate partner.
Definition of Domestic Violence: Victims
Definitions of domestic violence recognize that victims can include anyone, regardless of socioeconomic background, education level, race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. Domestic violence was formerly referred to as wife abuse. However, this term was abandoned when the definition of domestic violence was changed to reflect that wives are not the only ones who can fall victim to domestic violence. The definition of domestic violence now recognizes that victims can be:
Spouses
Sexual/Dating/Intimate partners
Family members
Children
Cohabitants
Statistics on domestic abuse reveal that:
1 in 4 adult women and 1 in 7 adult men in the United States have experienced intimate partner violence.
86% of male victims of IPV were assaulted by a male partner.
33% of female homicide victims and 5.5% of male homicide victims were killed by a current or former partner.
30% to 60% of children in households with domestic violence experience abuse or neglect.
Children who witness violence at home are more likely to become abusers or experience abuse.
Over $8.3 billion in estimated costs is associated with domestic violence incidents each year.
Types of Domestic Violence
Many types of abuse are included in the definition of domestic violence:
Physical abuse can include hitting, biting, slapping, battering, shoving, punching, pulling hair, burning, cutting, pinching, etc. (any type of violent behavior inflicted on the victim). Physical abuse also includes denying someone medical treatment and forcing drug/alcohol use on someone.
Sexual abuse occurs when the abuser coerces or attempts to coerce the victim into having sexual contact or sexual behavior without the victim’s consent. This often takes the form of marital rape, attacking sexual body parts, physical violence that is followed by forcing sex, sexually demeaning the victim, or even telling sexual jokes at the victim’s expense.
Emotional abuse involves invalidating or deflating the victim’s sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem. Emotional abuse often takes the form of constant criticism, name-calling, injuring the victim’s relationship with his/her children, or interfering with the victim’s abilities.
Economic abuse takes place when the abuser makes or tries to make the victim financially reliant. Economic abusers often seek to maintain total control over financial resources, withhold the victim’s access to funds, or prohibit the victim from going to school or work.
Psychological abuse involves the abuser invoking fear through intimidation; threatening to physically hurt himself/herself, the victim, children, the victim’s family or friends, or the pets; destruction of property; injuring the pets; isolating the victim from loved ones; and prohibiting the victim from going to school or work. Threats to hit, injure, or use a weapon are a form of psychological abuse.
Stalking can include following the victim, spying, watching, harassing, showing up at the victim’s home or work, sending gifts, collecting information, making phone calls, leaving written messages, or appearing at a person’s home or workplace. These acts individually are typically legal, but any of these behaviors done continuously results in a stalking crime.
Cyberstalking refers to online action or repeated emailing that inflicts substantial emotional distress in the recipient.
Causes of Domestic Violence
Low self-esteem: There seems to be a link between low self-esteem and the risk of being both a victim and an abuser in domestic violence cases. Victims often believe no one wants them or that they don’t deserve to be loved. Therefore, they are more likely to try to endure abuse in hopes the abuser will change. Abusers, on the other hand, often attempt to mask their low self-esteem by degrading others. While it doesn’t make sense to people who are not affected, it makes perfect sense in the mind of both the abuser and the victim.
Desire for power or control: Domestic violence often occurs in relationships where one person has a desire to control another. The abuser may try to control the victim’s social life, travel, and money.
Low academic achievement: Individuals who have poor academic achievement often battle with self-esteem issues. Potential abusers often display aggressive behavior as a way of “distracting” others from what they view as personal lack of achievement. Victims, on the other hand, may feel trapped because they think they are unable to provide for themselves of their children. Therefore, they may stay in an abusive relationship as a means of financial support.
Previous history of being an abuse victim: Unfortunately, without intervention, the cycle of abuse is often difficult to break. Previous victims of domestic violence often tend to either be re-victimized or become abusers themselves. Victims of domestic violence often believe they “deserve” the abuse. This mindset leads them to be less likely to stand up for themselves. Victims who become abusers, on the other hand, often do so because they feel so much anger and frustration related to the experience of being a victim.
Cultural beliefs/traditional viewpoints: It may seem odd to think that culture or traditions lend to the risk of domestic violence, but many cultures have deep-rooted beliefs that men are superior to women. In some instances, those men may resort to domestic violence to gain control of their spouse or children. Cultural traditions do not trump laws designed to protect victims.
Mental illness: As mentioned above, the role of mental illness within the cycle of domestic violence is prevalent. Individuals who have been diagnosed with a mental illness, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, may go through times of highs and lows when they are unable to control their anger. These people may become aggressors and abuse others. This is especially true if they are not following a medication regimen. Some people who experience depression or other mood disorders are often more likely to be victimized.
Substance abuse: People who abuse drugs or alcohol may fall victim to someone who is abusive. A victim’s need for acceptance or money to support their habit may cause them to be vulnerable to domestic abuse.
Other risk factors include:
Depression
Anger issues
Low income or unemployment
Emotional insecurity or dependence
In men, feelings of not matching up to the masculine gender role
Arogi Foundation
Arogi Trauma Care Foundation (ATCF) is like the silver lining in a dark cloud, making free counselling and therapy accessible to traumatised individuals, bringing healing to those who are hurting and helping people lift up burdens of pain, Read More>>
