Discovering that your partner has been cheating or unfaithful can run you over like a gigantic truck. Your marriage may be thrown into a state of disarray.
Your curiosity to want to know why your partner cheated is natural and justifiable, but it is difficult to identify a simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful but that is not the theme of discussion for this article. No matter the cause, you normally will have a lot of complex feelings to process, and a lot to think about as you decide how to manage the situation and move forward from the unpleasant experience you have had with the unfaithful partner. In this state, you are most vulnerable to making irrational decisions that could have lasting effects on your marriage and course of life.
Therefore these tips will help you to stay more in control of the roller coaster emotions and healing process to adjust to the provoking situation.
The below tips can help you cope with the aftermath of betrayal.
- Acceptance: Let yourself feel all of the emotions without making attempts to distract yourself from the emotions or avoid the emotions. Anxiety, shock, pain, gloom, agitation, confusion, or even more uncomfortable emotions are all the emotions you will normally encounter. It will likely feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster for some time.It takes some time to get through the painful emotions that come with having to deal with an unfaithful mate. Don’t expect the complex feelings and the mistrust to disappear so fast, even if you’re trying to forgive your partner and restore your marriage. Your marriage is altered and it is natural to grieve the happy relationship you once had. It is just like a physical wound, it requires some time to heal up.
- Self Care: Spend time engaging in activities you enjoy such as meditation, writing, painting, designing, listening to music, hanging out with friends, course training, etc. This will foster the release of dopamine and serotonin that produce positive emotions and gradually support the mitigation of painful emotions. Ensure any activity you are considering is in a way adding significant value to you.
- Do not revenge: Commit your mental energy to thoughts that will aid your healing process. It is normal to experience rage after experiencing betrayal with your partner. And in fact, such a retaliatory act could provide temporary relief but it often has the lasting effects of agony because it has a way of deteriorating your psychological well-being, which can make you feel more helpless about the situation.
- Mindfulness: Engage in a lot of breathing exercises that focus your attention on the present. Most of the pains you encounter are due to the fixation on the memories of the past which have found a way to mix up and cause discomfort and anxiety. Intentionally being in the presence fortify you to guide your thoughts and regulate your feelings, all of these aid your quality decision-making during this period.
- Be open minded and empathic: Start embracing thoughts or words sensitive to your well-being. Avoid criticising or judging yourself or your partner. Such thoughts will arise but with your mindfulness, you can replace them with healthier and beneficial thoughts. Thinking and speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend is important to build the hope needed to restore the relationship effectively.
- Communication: Do not keep blaming yourself or the unfaithful mate, replace blaming with an intentional dedication to understanding and improving the situation by engaging in conversations. Both of you adopting need to adopt intentional listening and speaking at this period.
- Try not to involve your children: Involving them may overwhelm the children and this could aggravate the issue or lead to more tense situations.
- Seek mental health support: It is important to speak to a mental health professional before making a significant decision which may include ending the marriage or not. You may also join other reliable support groups to learn from others the healthy coping mechanisms to adopt in managing a relationship with a partner with a history of unfaithfulness.
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