Healing Beyond the Past
“Traumatic events may never change, but the wounds we carry within us – like believing we are unworthy – can heal at any time” – Gabor Maté
Gabor Maté’s insight invites a nuanced examination of trauma’s residue and the remarkable capacity for internal transformation. While the external facts of a traumatic experience remain fixed in history, the internal landscape shaped by that experience is neither static nor irreparable. It is within this interior domain — our beliefs, emotions, and neural pathways—that both suffering and healing unfold.
Traumatic events often implant core beliefs that skew self-perception: “I am unworthy,” “I am powerless,” or “the world is unsafe.” These beliefs may arise from childhood abuse, betrayal, neglect, or catastrophic events. Once established, they become self-reinforcing, shaping attention, memory, and behavior. A person who believes herself unworthy may unconsciously seek out relationships that confirm that belief or may habitually discount successes, unaware that her self-worth is filtered through trauma-tainted lenses.
However, contemporary research in neuroscience and psychology illuminates a hopeful counterpoint: neuroplasticity. The brain’s architecture is malleable; with sustained, intentional practice, old neural patterns can be reshaped and new pathways laid down. Therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) explicitly target maladaptive beliefs, helping individuals to identify, challenge, and replace them with more balanced appraisals. Simultaneously, somatic therapies—such as Somatic Experiencing or sensorimotor psychotherapy—address the bodily imprint of trauma, facilitating regulation and integration of physical and emotional responses.
Central to healing is the cultivation of self-compassion. Drawing on the work of psychologists like Kristin Neff, survivors learn to treat themselves with the same kindness they would extend to a friend. This practice interrupts cycles of self-criticism and shame, two powerful reinforcers of the “unworthy” narrative. Mindfulness techniques further support this process by fostering nonjudgmental awareness of thoughts and feelings, allowing painful self-beliefs to arise without fusion or automatic reaction.
Equally significant is the relational context in which healing occurs. A trustworthy therapeutic relationship, peer-support group, or compassionate social network provides corrective emotional experiences. When others validate a survivor’s worthiness—through empathy, encouragement, and unconditional positive regard — they offer tangible evidence that contradicts the internalized narrative of unworthiness.
In sum, while the immutable facts of a traumatic event remain in the past, the wounds they engender within us are neither permanent nor beyond repair. Through neuroplastic change, therapeutic intervention, self-compassion, and supportive relationships, individuals can tenderly yet resolutely transform hurtful beliefs, rediscovering intrinsic worth and resilience. Maté’s assertion affirms that healing is always possible. In essence, our inner world, unlike external history, is endlessly receptive to renewal.
Temitayo Olawunmi
Temitayo Olawunmi is a clinical psychologist in service to Arogi Trauma Care Foundation. She is solution-focused and result-driven. She has a strong passion for delivering exceptional customer service and ensuring clients satisfaction at every touchpoint.
