Why Self-Esteem Matters for the Boy Child
Introduction
The dynamic nature of the world at present necessitates raising emotionally healthy boys. Among other things, Self-esteem is a vital component of a boy’s emotional and psychological development. Simply put, Self-Esteem is the way you think and feel about yourself. In other words, it is the extent to which you like, accept, and value who you are. It’s one’s inner sense of self-worth. When a person has healthy self-esteem, they believe they are worthy of respect, love, and success, even when they make mistakes or face challenges.
For the sake of clarity, “Self-esteem” is one of the components of “Esteem.” Esteem is divided into “Esteem for self,” otherwise known as self-esteem, and “Esteem from others.” In this compendium, self-esteem is much more significant. Analogically, Self-esteem is like the “Signal Out” of your mobile phone network, while esteem from others is like the “Signal in.” If the signal out is weak, the “Signal in” will not be attracted.
In other words, self-esteem is like charity which they say begins from home. The value and respect others will accord you is a function of the carriage and value you accorded yourself. It is also worth noting that self-esteem can either be “low,” or “high.” Having laid this foundation, Arogi Trauma Care Foundation owes it a duty to highlight why Self-Esteem matters for the boy child on this occasion of “The International Day of the Boy Child.”
Why Self-Esteem Matters for the Boy Child
First, Self Esteem serves as the Foundation for Confidence and Identity. One of the confusions that a boy child may encounter in life is whenever they are navigating their developmental milestone between the ages of 11 years and 20 years. This period coincides with the adolescent years, wherein they face the conflict of Identity versus Role Confusion. A proper resolution and navigation of this period will translate to the act that they will achieve a sense of identity and not role confusion. Crucial to developing a strong sense of identity is “Self-esteem. When a boy believes in himself, he is more likely to try new things, take on challenges, and stand up for what’s right. More importantly, a confident boy is less likely to be swayed by peer pressure or feel the need to “prove himself” through harmful behavior such as smoking or drinking.
Second, a boy with high self-esteem will be capable of withstanding emotional pressure. Largely, boys are often trained against vulnerability. That is, they are taught to suppress their emotions, which can lead them to bottle up their frustration, anger, or confusion. However, a boy with healthy self-esteem will be able to recognize their emotions without shame and seek help when they need it. In essence, self-esteem builds emotional resilience, the ability to bounce back from failure, rejection, or criticism.
Third, healthy self-esteem helps a boy child have a healthier emotional response to personal and life challenges. Low self-esteem in boys is sometimes masked by aggressive behavior, bullying, or withdrawal. A boy who doesn’t feel good about himself might lash out at others or isolate himself. Boys who value themselves reduce the likelihood of them harming themselves or others, emotionally or physically. A good biblical example is the case of Cain and Abel. With what transpired between the two, it was obvious that Cain’s esteem was low going by his aggressive and violent response to a situation that was supposed to have taught him a beautiful life lesson but he took it the other way.
Fourth, a healthy self-esteem promotes healthy relationships. When boys have a strong sense of self-worth, they are more likely to treat others with respect and empathy. They are less likely to dominate, control, or mistreat peers, and more likely to form genuine, respectful friendships and relationships. Lastly, healthy self-esteem primes a boy child to perform better academically and socially. They are more motivated to set goals, take initiative, and believe in their ability to succeed. This is not because they are pressured to be “the best,” but because they believe their efforts matter.
What Can Be Done to Improve Self-Esteem?
The following tips can be adopted by anyone regardless of the age range. Also, they can be adopted for our kids regardless of gender. The list of what can be done to up self-esteem is inexhaustive, however, we have made a compilation of evidence-based ideas to help in this instance. These are:
- Loving Self Unconditionally: One needs to understand the fact that loving oneself is a key aspect of self-care. Loving yourself begins where others’ love for you ends. Hence, it is very important we love ourselves unconditionally. Others’ love for us is often a function of their perception of how perfect we are. However, self-esteem dictates that we love ourselves regardless of whether we are perfect or not. In other words, we don’t need to be perfect to deserve love and respect. Even when we make mistakes, fail a test, or feel low, we’re still worth loving. In this regard, affirming (Positive self-talk) ourselves daily is a good point to start. Look in the mirror and say something good about yourself. A good example is “I love myself unconditionally.”
- Redefine Mistakes: Change your orientation about mistakes. Making mistakes doesn’t make you a bad person as everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes don’t define who you are. Life is a lesson and experiences, good or bad, are there to shape us. We are always a work in progress, and growing through learning from experiences of life. In other words, You’re not a bad person because you got it wrong. Rather, you’re a growing person learning how to get it right.
- Celebrate Yourself: As at when due try to cheer yourself up with more encouragement. Don’t wait for the world to clap for you. Hence, without minding whose ox is gored, begin to acknowledge and appreciate yourself whenever you achieve something either big or small. Be proud of how far you’ve come by recognizing the fact that you may not be where you are going, but you are no longer where you used to be. Be as kind to yourself as you would to your best friend. Even when you mess up, don’t tear yourself down – talk to yourself gently. Words like – “I’ll do better next time,” “I’m learning,” and “I can grow from this,” should be your encouragement capsules.
- Change your expectations about Life and Others: In life not everyone will be nice to you. In other words, people will not always like you, and that’s okay. Some people may be rude or mean. However, that does not make you less valuable. It is important to under that others might be dealing with their pain, jealousy, or confusion, so we should not let their behavior change how we see ourselves. So, you must prepare your mind that things may not go as expected or as planned.
- Redefine Failure: Failure is part of life’s journey. If you don’t understand this failure will keep you down, overwhelm you and dampen your self-worth and by extension your self-esteem. Failure often produces success and in fact, it’s a source of motivation for successful aspirations in life. Failing in any challenge, be it academics, relationships, or business, is not final. When you experience failure, it means that life has just presented you with an opportunity for growth. Simply put you have an opportunity for an evaluated experience. Whenever you fall, try to make a review of why you fall and learn the necessary lessons from there. Failing does not make you a failure, but a human. Every successful man you admire has failed before. What matters is to learn, grow, and get up again. Say to yourself, “No matter what happens, I am still a great person.”
Conclusion
Self-esteem is a psychological capital that affects your relationships, decisions, mental health, and how you handle life’s ups and downs. Regardless of your age bracket, building healthy self-esteem helps you grow with confidence and self-respect. A boy who grows up with healthy self-esteem becomes a man who values himself and others. More importantly, building self-esteem in the boy child is not just an investment in his future, but an investment in the future of our families, communities, and society at large.
Adedeji Odusanya
Odusanya Adedeji A., is a Licensed & Certified Clinical Psychologist whose domain of expertise cuts across management of specific mental health issues such as, Depression, PTSD, Anxiety & Anxiety related disorders, Substance Use Disorder, etc
